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adam sandler – cool guy 2

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cool guy 2

[the sounds of waves crashing]

[sean:] this is quite the chill night. kicking back on the beach with a fine girl such as yourself.

[girl #2:] yeah, the waves are so calming.

[sean:] so, is your body looking like michaelangelo made you or some sh-t.

[girl #2:] thanks sean, that’s so sweet.

[sean presses ‘play’ b-tton on tape player]

[sean:] let’s see what’s going on under this velvet top of yours.

[girl #2:] uh-oh.

[sean:] oh calming, your coming off strong with some beautiful waves of your own there, baby.

[girl #2:] oh sean, you’re so cute.

[sean:] why don’t we leave the summer skirt on, but let’s take those fine panties p-ssed those long, strong legs of yours, hmm?

[girl #2:] oh my god.

[sean:] yeah.

[girl #2:] and how about you take off clothes, sean.

[sean:] oh, oh is that right, baby? you want me to show my stuff, too?

[girl #2:] my god, you look good, sean.

[sean:] yeah, yeah baby i keep in shape, you know.

[girl #2:] ooh.

[she starts to unbuckle his pants]

[sean:] yeah, unbuckle my pants, move hands on my wet weiner and let’s get it swingin’.

[girl #2:] what’s that?

[sean:] let’s get it swingin’.

[girl #2:] no, the other thing you said?

[sean:] …the wet-weiner?

[girl #2:] [gasps] you know what?

[sean:] yeah?

[girl #2:] i’m going to go throw up, now. see you.

[sean:] hmm, leave me all h-rny here. how… how you going to get home there, baby?

[girl #2:] i’ll walk. [she begins to walk away]

[sean:] mm-hm. i’m-a call you.

[girl #2:] don’t. [she’s gone]

[sean:] a’ight, a’ight. i’m go in for a swim anyways, you know that baby. [to self:] going to get this swing-ding wet somehow. salted off the rubarbs, ain’t that a b-tch?

[the end]

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